Flower girl and Ring Bearers

Flower Girls and Ring Bearers | Tips for Cooperation


Every Wedding deserves the cutest Flower Girls and Ring Bearers.  Sometimes this creates additional stress for the Bridal Party.  I often see that a bridesmaid has been asked for her kids to be the Flower girl or Ring Bearer and this can create additional stress.  I’m going to highlight some things that I’ve seen work during the weddings I’ve been a part of over the years.

#1 At least one parent needs to attend to the kids

As a Bride, I suggest that you be considerate to your bridal party.  Worst case scenario is both parents are in the wedding party and their kids are the flower girl/ring bearer.  Please don’t do this to your friends/family.  This creates a frustrating day for this family.  Someone needs to be making sure the kids are ready to walk down the aisle, especially the younger ones.  With all the excitement on a wedding day, it’s unlikely that the youngest kids will get a nap in.  But if one parent is able to focus on the kids’ needs, the likelihood that they will be in wonderful moods and photogenic for the Ceremony, is much higher.

Flower girls getting ready with the Bridesmaids

#2 Make sure they are well rested and well fed

Parents know that kids are the happiest when they have full tummies and are well rested.  So that would be my next suggestion on how to keep kids ready to walk down the aisle.  Choose snacks that aren’t messy.  Please don’t give them cheetos!  I can just see their beautiful clothes getting a big orange fingered hand wiped across them.  A snack high in protein would also be a good choice.



Flower girls and Ring bearer getting ready


#3 Practice, Practice, Practice

It goes without saying that the kids need to be told what to do when they walk down the aisle.  But they likely need more practice than you think, depending on their age.  It’s always a good idea to have someone towards the altar end of the aisle for the kids to walk to.  Someone that they can focus on to help keep them calm in the moment.  Then that person should have the flexibility to leave the Ceremony space discretely when the kids get wiggly.  SO this wouldn’t be ideal for a grandparent.  A parent, aunt, or uncle should be able to fill this need.

Flower girls wearing pink dresses pulling a decorated wagon.

Flower Girls


#4 No Pressure

Keep the expectations at a minimal, especially for the youngest kids.  Everyone at the wedding knows how much pressure can be projected onto the kids during their time of the ceremony.  Everyone’s heart hurts a little when the Flower girl freezes or the Ring Bearer runs to his Mom.  Imagine all those eyes on you!  It’s intimidating.  SO just keep your directions light and easy.  Don’t add any pressure to the situation by threatening the kids.  It’s okay to incentivize them by telling them they’ll get a treat after they walk down the aisle.  Lollipops or gummys (not in a wrapper, put it in a bowl or baggie) are a great idea to keep kids happy during the ceremony.  Just keep in mind that we don’t want their face stained with candy or their clothes to get messy.  Bridal Party and Family Formals will be taken following the ceremony.

Flower girls and Ring Bearer Dancing during Reception

Remember to have fun!  This wedding featured a Philadelphia tradition of a Cookie Table!  So these kids may have had a really good time thanks to that table!  It sure looks like they did to me!

Pittsburg Cookie Table

If you are planning a wedding and you want to reach out to me, please email me at Lydia@LydiaTeague.com!  Happy Planning!



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